It's chlamydia! Thank God!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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