I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
