we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Fuck appropriateness.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
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And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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