I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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