like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
