Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
