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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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• (631): View more from New York

  i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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• (516): View more from New York

  She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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• (626): View more from California

  I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (315): View more from New York

  you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD

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• (352): View more from Florida

  i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.

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