she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
