I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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