I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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