If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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