the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
