I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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