I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
