I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize