is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
