so explain again why im purple
no
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
