Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want her autograph on my taint
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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