help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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