Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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