i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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