somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
