i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
