Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
