Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
