I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
