her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
