kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
