just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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