You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it because I queefed?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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