1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
