i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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