I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize