It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
