JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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