Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize