He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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