I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
