ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
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time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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