dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
