my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
