TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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