Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize