The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
