We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
