I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
