So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my being single is dangerous.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
