I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
