I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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