Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
