Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize