dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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