Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry siCkxinDividUal hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(561): View more from Florida

His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

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(802): View more from Vermont

Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

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(303): View more from Colorado

Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly

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(440): View more from Ohio

Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think the firemen will remember me?

(315): View more from New York

Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.

(234): View more from Ohio

... other people's boyfriends.

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(314): View more from Missouri

i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.

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