This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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