I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
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You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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