Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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