You work out of a Hotel?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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