Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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