You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize