i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
