i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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