that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
