i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Two words: blizzard sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
