sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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