btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
