Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize