Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize