Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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