New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
