I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
