we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
