You smell like stripper and shame
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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