i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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