Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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